Yesterday was Halloween. It was the first time I’ve talked openly about Ian at work. It was a only a couple things… little memories. Up until now, those types of things have made me very sad. Yesterday, for the first time, I just enjoyed the memories. Laughed about them. He loved Halloween so much. It […]
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Ian, I have been busy this week. Stressfully so, but it’s also good. We had our annual chili cookoff at work. One of our co-workers and I talked about your entry last year. I remember you being so excited about it. I stand by it being a good idea, and he and I were talking […]
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I was thinking about some of the funny and insane things that Ian and I would get ourselves into, and remembered this: One night, he and I were hanging out listening to music and being silly. He, always one to push boundaries a little, and egged on by a conversation we’d been having, tried to slap […]
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I’m to a point where I generally don’t cry much when I think of Ian anymore. I still do, on occasion, but the random gut punches have faded into almost non-existence. Which is why it’s so jarring when one comes out of left field. One day at work, I was having a conversation with the […]
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Another Throwback Thursday post: It’s 3:30am. I turned off my iPad at around 2am, to sleep after crying for a while last night. I woke up probably 15 minutes ago, and tried to go back to sleep without opening my eyes. Then I started playing conversations I should have had with him through my head. […]
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Ian, This weekend was another wedding that you would have been invited to if you’d been alive. There are so many things you’re missing. I wish you were here to experience them. I had a Caucasian for the first time since you died. I liked them before, but you made them fun…. You made me […]
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Another Throw Back Thursday post: Today, for the first time since I discovered Ian, I decided to have coffee. I haven’t until now because I haven’t been eating much, and wasn’t sure it was a good idea. I really didn’t miss it until today, when I realized I was dragging, and could use it. He […]
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Ian, I have managed to do housework this weekend. Something in my house still stinks, but I don’t know what it is or where it is. For all I know, it may well be all in my head. My vacuum started making a concerning clunking sound, so I didn’t finish the entirety of my bedroom. […]
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I haven’t talked much so far about the effect that finding Ian had on me… Mostly, because up until lately, I haven’t felt like it’s had much effect at all in terms of making my experience different than anyone else’s. In fact, up until lately, I’ve been a little glad that it was me, for […]
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Another Throw Back Thursday post: The cycles I’ve noticed are interesting. For the first month, it seemed to be sad day, sad day, sad day, mad day, roller coaster day, repeat. At about the month mark, it turned into sad day, roller coaster day, ok day, repeat. Which means that ok days are working their way in. His […]
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