Treating Depression

One of my dear friends, who I’ve known for a long time, recently told me that he was finally going to try to talk to someone about getting medication for depression. His doctor thought he may have disthymia (persistent, mild depression) – which is what I have – and thought that medication may help. Now, […]

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Winning Against Depression

I found this article in my wanderings today, and I tried to read it. I’m not sure how far I got, because I didn’t look down to the end, to see how much was left. I couldn’t. See, I was taken over by this irrational and very vitriolic hatred of the author. He survived. He […]

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Be Where You Are

One of the things I have been fighting with/worrying about, is whether I’m making decisions that will help or hurt me in the long run. Am I doing things the smart way? Am I making sure I’m being careful? After a major life-changing event, like the suicide of the person you love, the likelihood of […]

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Contradictions

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m now in a place where it’s really noticeable – I hold a number of completely contradictory emotions all at the same time. Right now, I’ve got several things that are going really well. Like, REALLY well. And I’m excited about them. And I’m looking forward to them. […]

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The Benefits of Friends

I was talking to a friend of mine about how confused I am over my emotional state, relationships, what I want, what I’m ready for, what I DON’T want. She asked me if I’d talked to my therapist about that at all. Cue the forehead smack. Because, no. I haven’t talked to my therapist for […]

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No News?

They say no news is good news, and in most cases, I agree. In the context of this blog, however, I’m not liking that there’s no new revelations lately. I am sick of being a broken record. Yes, everyone knows I miss Ian… That’s uninteresting at this point. With the events of last weekend, and […]

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Mindfulness

One of my friends who was visiting recently has struggled with depression for a very long time. She was talking about her current experiences, and the things she’s doing actively to try to figure out how to best manage and control it. She told me about how she’s noticed that when she exercises, the next […]

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Sad Day

Here’s another Throw Back Thursday post: The moods have moved from alternating every hour or two (or less) to being pretty much day long. Today was a sad day; a day where the hole in my heart was aching. I didn’t cry that much, a little here or there when it overtook me, but I […]

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Sunday Letter #16

Ian, Six months ago to the minute, as I start writing this email, I texted you, “Feel better soon. We miss you!” It was the last thing you saw from me. I still miss you. I know that if you’d had any idea what your absence would do to the people you loved, you would […]

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Healthy?

I went to a therapy appointment today; the first one in five weeks, due to vacations and generally being busy.  My therapist seems to not know what to do with me… He says I’m pretty much doing what I can, I’m self-aware, and he thinks I’m being pretty healthy in dealing with things. Which is […]

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