Self Worth

Low self-worth and depression go hand in hand. One can cause the other. The other can lead to the one. They tend to help each other propagate in someone’s mind. If you have the belief that you’re not worthwhile to people, that you’re just going to hurt them, that you’re useless, depression can set in […]

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Treating Depression

One of my dear friends, who I’ve known for a long time, recently told me that he was finally going to try to talk to someone about getting medication for depression. His doctor thought he may have disthymia (persistent, mild depression) – which is what I have – and thought that medication may help. Now, […]

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Passive Contemplation

This is a topic I’ve been avoiding because I worried that it would freak people out. So, I’m prefacing this particular blog entry with this request: Before reacting, read the WHOLE thing, and see where I go with it. Because it’s not as scary as it starts. Not remotely. I have contemplated the idea of […]

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Winning Against Depression

I found this article in my wanderings today, and I tried to read it. I’m not sure how far I got, because I didn’t look down to the end, to see how much was left. I couldn’t. See, I was taken over by this irrational and very vitriolic hatred of the author. He survived. He […]

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Coincidences

This is probably going to be the last Throwback Thursday post, since it’s the last one I have sitting around. One week before Ian died, I wrote about depression. The night he died, I dreamt and then posted about how I wanted to live my golden years I just looked back and realized the timing […]

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Contradictions

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m now in a place where it’s really noticeable – I hold a number of completely contradictory emotions all at the same time. Right now, I’ve got several things that are going really well. Like, REALLY well. And I’m excited about them. And I’m looking forward to them. […]

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No News?

They say no news is good news, and in most cases, I agree. In the context of this blog, however, I’m not liking that there’s no new revelations lately. I am sick of being a broken record. Yes, everyone knows I miss Ian… That’s uninteresting at this point. With the events of last weekend, and […]

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Wavering

Last night, on my way to karaoke, I drove the way I tend to drive to work; the way that takes me past the turnoff to Ian’s house. The way I would have driven were I going to pick him up to take him to karaoke (minus actually turning off and going to his house, […]

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Complex Emotional Responses

I was speaking last night with a friend. We were at karaoke, and someone sang a song that I still have a very hard time hearing because of Ian. It was one of his ‘favorites’ (as much as you could call any song one of his favorites), and is a very happy bouncy hopeful song. […]

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Social Changes

This is a throw-back Thursday post. Six months ago, I wrote this: This is likely a post that isn’t going to be posted for a long time, if ever. I’m feeling very abandoned lately. Not only by Ian, but by almost everyone. See…. Aside from him, I had a couple single, childless friends. Together, he […]

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