Two Years

Two years ago today, my life changed drastically. Many peoples’ lives changed drastically. It’s amazing how big a hole one person can leave. I haven’t been paying much attention to the date, to tell the truth. There have been a large number of things distracting me from remembering the significance. Some good, some bad. All […]

409 total views, no views today

Mixed

It’s been a while, and things still aren’t slowing down a whole lot. I had my second gig with the new band last night, and it was awesome. I’ve been getting so much support from friends, and I appreciate it so much. The band is full of amazing people, and they’re so incredibly talented that […]

508 total views, no views today

Visiting

If you’ve been following along, you’ve seen how I’ve struggled with the idea of some sort of afterlife, not to mention the likelihood that anyone there would want to/be able to contact us here. You also probably read about the incident that happened while I was in California, that made me reluctantly accept that there […]

634 total views, no views today

Complex Emotional Responses

I was speaking last night with a friend. We were at karaoke, and someone sang a song that I still have a very hard time hearing because of Ian. It was one of his ‘favorites’ (as much as you could call any song one of his favorites), and is a very happy bouncy hopeful song. […]

287 total views, no views today

Day 365

One year. I’m having trouble figuring out how to address this day here. It feels like it’s both a huge deal, because it’s the Anniversary, and that it’s completely unimportant, because it’s just another day without Ian. One year ago right now, 12:12pm cst, I was getting ready to leave work to go to his […]

1,076 total views, no views today

Hookah

This is another throwback Thursday post. I went to the Hookah tonight. First time I’ve been back since his death. Walking in hurt. I thought about all the times we’d driven there together… All the fun… I got inside the second door, and saw the place where on New Year’s Eve, when we were on […]

293 total views, no views today

It Comes In Waves

Today is a harder day than I’ve had in a little while. I went to the place where we did karaoke together a lot last night, and it was fine. There were a few moments of sadness & nostalgia, but overall, it was a good night. Today, my playlist seems insistent on reminding me of […]

295 total views, no views today

Time of Your Life

I’m not sure what causes them, but I still have days where I’m more sad than I have been lately. More nostalgic. More achey. A song came up on my playlist today that invariably makes me cry, so maybe that’s why. Every time I hear it, I can’t help but think that it’s what he […]

271 total views, no views today

Being Ok

I was discussing personality traits with a friend this evening. We were talking specifically about how people handle mornings. In my longest relationship, my boyfriend was very much NOT a morning person. Because of this, I had the idea that I was pretty far on the other end of the spectrum. Then I went on […]

439 total views, no views today

Music

Another Throw Back Thursday Post: I started trying to listen to music more normally the other day. That turned out to be a bad idea. He and I shared SO MUCH music that listening to entire genres ended up making me terribly sad. Whether it was a significant song or not, just knowing how he […]

278 total views, no views today