I found this article in my wanderings today, and I tried to read it. I’m not sure how far I got, because I didn’t look down to the end, to see how much was left. I couldn’t. See, I was taken over by this irrational and very vitriolic hatred of the author. He survived. He was able to do what Ian couldn’t. He got help and he’s still here.
Rationally, I’m happy for him. Rationally, I am so glad he was able to get help. I’m happy he survived. But, boy oh boy, do I wish Ian did too.
Envy, jealousy… both are touted as evil and to be avoided. Problem being they’re emotions, just like love and joy. You can’t control that. Not act on it, sure. But control it? Nope.
And so I stopped reading the article. The article that really sounded like it would have some good points. I am going to make some conjecture here. From how he started, I assume he talks about how Depression is a constant. How he will never WIN against it. But that he will continue to fight it, hopefully successfully.
I am going to add that I hope, eventually, they figure this shit out. That there’s a CURE. That he won’t be fighting this for the rest of his life.
Because sometimes that fight is just too much. I hope, if anyone reading this is approaching that point, that you know you can reach out to people to help. That someone cares. That if you’re reaching the end of your fighting capabilities, you are allowed to ask for help, and that doing so doesn’t make you weak.
That reminds me of Boggle. I think I’ve posted Boggle before, but it’s worth revisiting.
Maybe you’re not winning. But you’re still here, fighting. And that’s impressive. Don’t give up.
Written 5/21/2015
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