It’s interesting. I decided to look back at the blog posts I made a year ago, see if and how I’m doing better. Turns out I’m a lot different now than I was then. Both in predictable ways – ways that make sense – and in unpredictable, surprising ways. But there are still some similarities. Those are […]
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*Disclaimer – This is a long, rambling post. It does come to a point, eventually though. Once I was playing a game with friends. The game was called “Scruples” – the way it works is each person is read a scenario that crosses some moral boundaries or not, and the person then chooses their answer. […]
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If you’ve been following along, you’ve seen how I’ve struggled with the idea of some sort of afterlife, not to mention the likelihood that anyone there would want to/be able to contact us here. You also probably read about the incident that happened while I was in California, that made me reluctantly accept that there […]
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This morning, I went shopping for glasses. For the first time in at least 15 years, I am going to have some glasses for work. As I was thinking about this last night, I was pondering how someone’s glasses seem to hold a lot of their essence. I’m not sure why, but I feel that […]
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Friday I had a rough evening. I was homesick after two weeks away, and my brain wouldn’t let some things go. I went to sleep through tears, and begged Ian, “If you ARE still out there, and you did care at all, let me know.” I have a number of friends who claim sensitivity, and […]
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My ex, whom I dated for nearly ten years, got married today. I am so happy for him and his wife. I was happy when they started dating, and happy that they seem to be so good for each other. I wasn’t able to be a witness for them because I wasn’t in town, which […]
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Dear Ian, This may be the last letter I write to you. I still don’t know if they were good ideas to begin with, but now, I feel like they may be aiding me in avoiding letting go. I felt like I had a choice in that… I’m not sure why, because obviously none of […]
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To reconcile is to make harmonious, to restore friendly relations, to make things match. It’s an interesting word with many applications. One that I like. I think reconciliation is a wonderful thing, one that should be a goal for everyone. Making true. Making everything coexist in peace. But, much as I like the idea, I […]
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Ian, A year ago this afternoon, you and I weren’t talking. A year ago this evening, events conspired to throw us back together, and a year ago in the wee hours of tomorrow morning, I told you, sitting in the front seat of my car, that being with you was like coming home. And you […]
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Ian, I don’t know if these letters necessarily help me, or anyone else. But for lack of a distinct impression either way, I’m going to continue them. This week was ok. I had a friend from college visit this weekend, which was really nice. I wish you could have been here to hang with us. […]
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