Supporting Others

As my family goes through the grieving process for my uncle, I have been struggling with how to help them. I feel like I, of all people, should know what to do to support them. And yet, here I sit, unsure, and questioning myself. There are many articles out there on how to support people […]

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When to Say What

That title sounds like a knockoff of Who’s on First? It’s a question I’ve been kind of running into lately, though. As I meet new people, it’s always a little difficult to figure out how much to tell about things, and how soon. The new friend at the bar who’s commenting on my memorial tattoo, […]

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Illuminate

The other day, I was singing a song at karaoke that had the word suicide in it pretty prominently. I was there with a friend of mine and Ian’s, and he said he was surprised I’d sing that song. It made me ponder, because the song really didn’t bug me at all. Maybe I’m weird, […]

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Self-Evaluation

Another Throw Back Thursday post: It’s really hard to know what’s “healthy” when dealing with my own grief. I can’t tell if actions I take are holding me back from processing things or not. For example, yesterday, a group went to a Brewers (baseball) game. It was something we put together to honor his memory. […]

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Emotion Chips

You think you’re doing fine. As fine as can be expected, at least. You’re used to it. Used to their absence. It’s not easy, it’s not ok, but you’re used to it. Just moving forward… marching on. And then something happens. Who knows what it is? Something you would have asked their advice on, maybe. […]

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The Ties That Bind

A topic came up in the FFOS/POS email support group that I’m a part of that made me think. Several people in the group talked about how their loved one kept themselves removed from things that would connect them to life. A number of them didn’t have relationship, didn’t have pets… It seemed like for […]

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What Can I Say?

What Can I Say? I’ve heard several times since Ian’s death that people don’t know what to say to me, which is completely understandable. There is no magic phrase that will make the loss less painful. There’s nothing that you CAN say that will suddenly make someone who’s suffering from grief all better. That being […]

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Go-To Confessor

Edited to add: I worry that by posting this, I will be discouraging people from talking to me. I don’t want to do that. I would much rather that if you’re feeling desperate, if you’re needing help, and I’m the person you’re comfortable talking with, that you DO SO. I’m ok. I will be ok. I […]

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Basketball

I wrote this during the NCAA tournament. Watching the basketball game tonight, I thought back. Three years ago, I was amused by Ian’s fervor for the tournament. I have always hated basketball, but his enthusiasm was infectious. At that point, I was still not aware that I loved him. I knew I liked him a […]

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Unanswered Questions

Another throw back Thursday post. This one I still feel pretty strongly. Maybe always will. One of the worst things for me in this whole deal (aside from losing him. That’s by far worse than anything else) is the unanswered questions. What was he thinking? What made him get to this point NOW? Who had […]

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