This morning, I went shopping for glasses. For the first time in at least 15 years, I am going to have some glasses for work. As I was thinking about this last night, I was pondering how someone’s glasses seem to hold a lot of their essence. I’m not sure why, but I feel that […]

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Cleaning Up

Since Ian died, my house became kind of a shrine to him, or a repository for stuff of his… in disorganized piles, things here, there, everywhere that were his, or reminded me of him… It was a mess. Add to that the fact that I didn’t really have enough counter/shelf space in my kitchen, and […]

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Another Throw Back Thursday post: It’s really hard to know what’s “healthy” when dealing with my own grief. I can’t tell if actions I take are holding me back from processing things or not. For example, yesterday, a group went to a Brewers (baseball) game. It was something we put together to honor his memory. […]

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His No More

Yesterday after work, I visited Ian’s house for the last time. I didn’t go in. Even if I’d been able to, I wouldn’t have. It doesn’t smell like him anymore. Doesn’t look like his place anymore. I did sit out front for a while, looking in the window, and remembering the myriad times I’d drive […]

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Sunday Letter #12

Ian, Today, I broke out your grill. It’s the first time I’ve actually grilled on my own. I was really hesitant to do it, because I thought it would be kind of a pain in the butt. But now, having done it, it’s almost easier than cooking normally. I have a feeling I’ll be doing […]

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Written 6/18/2014 Yesterday was the 17th week since Ian’s death. Today is the four month anniversary. While some things have remained the same, much has changed since then. We have new employees at work. One of them is in his old office. Another is filling the spot he left vacant. The majority of the things […]

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I was pondering the things I learned from Ian. There are many. Most recently, I learned that everyone should have an “in case I get hit by a bus” file at home that contains all the pertinent passwords, phone unlock code, and account information, as well as a will… Even just a written note saying […]

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Sunday Letter #3

Continuing the Sunday Letter trend: Ian, It’s after 2am Sunday morning, Mother’s Day. I can’t help but feel for your mom today. I wish I had a way I could help her. Instead, I’m lying awake in my own mom’s guest bed after a semi-harrowing drive down to her place. The drive let me have […]

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Sunday Letter #1

One of the support groups I’m in ( offers the suggestion to write a letter every Sunday to the person who died. They say it might be a good way to get some things out, and while I know he’ll never see it, it makes sense to me. I figured in the absence of guest […]

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Grief: A Common Experience with Common Misconceptions (Part 2)

Today, I present Part 2 of a Sunday series of guest posts by a professional counselor and my dear friend from college. If you haven’t, please do yourself a favor, and read Part 1 first. An Essay by Noble Erickson, MA Anger This may be the most misunderstood of the grief states. Many people believe […]

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