If you are considering suicide, here are some of the important the things you should consider:
- Who is going to find your body? – The person who finds you will be changed forever. Who is it going to be? What will they see? How will they deal with the trauma? It will be something that they never forget, and will affect them the rest of their lives.
- Method. – How messy will the scene be? Will there be bodily fluids and other things that your loved ones will have to clean up? Will there be stains or smells that they can’t get out? Remember, when you die, your bowels and bladder release.
- Phone. – Is your phone passcode protected? If so, you might want to unlock it, so that your loved ones can contact anyone who they don’t know who is on there to tell them you’re dead.
- Computer – Is your computer password protected? Is there anything on it you don’t want your family or loved ones to see?
- Accounts. – Make a list of all of your financial accounts, tax records, medical information, social media accounts, etc. Make sure your passwords are listed as well, so that the people who are responsible for your estate are able to do everything they need to do.
- Belongings. – Do you care who gets what? If so, make a list. If you want certain people to get first choice, or certain things, make sure you leave that information. Also, if you DON’T want someone to have access to something, make a note.
- Memorial/Remains – What do you want done to your body? What type of memorial do you want? Generally, at a minimum, these things cost around $4-5,000, and they can get MUCH more expensive. Can your family or whomever is going to be responsible for it afford it?
- Guilt. – Everyone who knows and loves you (and believe me, the number of people who do is larger than you think) will blame themselves in some way for not being able to help you. There is no way for you to avoid this. But leaving a personal note for everyone explaining your thought process and reasons for doing it might help a little. It won’t make them not feel guilty, but it might answer some questions. The best thing for you to do is write a note that addresses everyone individually in some way. Make sure you include one for the person who will find your body. If you have children, they will likely always think that they were not good enough to make you want to stay alive, and that will stay with them their whole life.
- Who is going to find your body? Think about that person again. Think about how their life is going to change forever, because it will. And it will not be better for your absence, because what you’re planning is guaranteed to leave them traumatized for life, feeling guilty for not being able to help you, and broken-hearted because they will miss you.
- Call someone. Please. Either the person who’s going to find you, a close friend, a relative, or if you don’t want to admit to people who know you what’s going on, an anonymous call to 1-800-273-8255, or visit http://www.
suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ . There ARE options. Even if you can’t see them right now.
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