I have been quiet lately. I don’t have much new to say, so rather than reiterate everything I’ve said, I just thought it would be better to hush.
It’s been a year, seven months, and eleven days since Ian’s death, and I still do miss him every day. There are still a couple songs that I have to be feeling really strong to be able to listen to. There’s still one that I skip more often than not.
By now, I’m used to the hole in my heart, so I really don’t cry that much. Maybe once a month or so.
I have a number of new things that are occupying my time and mind, and that’s helping with the lack of new insight into how I’m dealing with everything. That IS how I’m dealing. If I’m occupied with other things, then I can’t dwell on the sadness. It’s still there, hiding in the background. It’s the baseline hum of every day. I still think how much I miss him several times each day.
But life keeps going, much as it feels like it shouldn’t, and so, practical person that I am, I know I have to go with it. The other option, remaining stuck, isn’t in my nature.
I’m guessing that I’m not going to be posting too much more here. I noted in tags sequential posts, so maybe I’ll repost things in order at some point.
As always, if you are hurting, if you’re thinking the only way out is hurting yourself, please check my resources page.
Written 9/29/2015
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