If you’ve been following along, you’ve seen how I’ve struggled with the idea of some sort of afterlife, not to mention the likelihood that anyone there would want to/be able to contact us here. You also probably read about the incident that happened while I was in California, that made me reluctantly accept that there is, and they can, and more, that Ian is.

I promised I’d keep an open mind, and I struggle with that. Because all of this could just be so much wishful thinking. But I promised. So here I am.

This weekend, I feel as though Ian visited me, and stayed a while. I was reading a friend’s first draft of a novel, to help her edit, and listening to music. I had my playlist of something like 2,500 songs going, and after a while of listening on shuffle, the song I’ve been singing about Ian lately came up. Fine. It’s on my playlist, no biggie. Then the next song was one of the ones he always called ours. And the next one was, too. By then, I was paying attention. Because while, yes, all of our songs are on this playlist, they make up 10% of it AT MOST. (Yes, we had a LOT of songs, for whatever reasons.)

So here I am, three in a row, thinking, ok… this is a little odd, but not impossible. And then the next one was another. So I asked. I asked out loud if he was there, if he was saying hi to me. And the next song was one of HIS. I started asking questions. Each song seemed to answer. And ALL of them were related to him. This lasted a couple hours. And then the song he hated the most (good naturedly) that I would make him sing with me came up. He was saying goodbye. Signalling his departure.

I sound like a crazy person. It’s pure insanity. But I promised I’d keep an open mind. And 2 hours of straight up US songs is nigh impossible in the mix of that entire playlist. Not entirely impossible. But wow, it’s unlikely.

People talk about signs from the person they lost a lot. For some, it’s butterflies. For others, finding pennies. For me, it’s music. Not that every time a song or two of ours comes up it means he’s around. That would be… well, I don’t know if it would be impossible, but that seems like pure stupidity. But that couple of hours straight, that felt different. And ending with that particular song just made it seem even more likely that he had some hand in it.

Written 4/14/2015

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4 thoughts on “Visiting

  1. I believe that our unconscious minds often lead us in the direction we’re meant to go, because our conscious minds overthink things. This makes me wonder about your renewed passion for making music these last few months. Perhaps your unconscious was aware of that potential avenue for communication, and attempting to broaden your receptivity.

    1. Hmm. That might be. Though I never lost interest in music, just forgot how much I like performing. But yeah, there’s a different way of thinking about it with that, so maybe.

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