I was watching a tv show, and one of the characters who’d lost the man she’d loved was talking to another woman whose husband had died more recently. She said, “At first, everyone’s there. But after a while, people forget. Everyone moves on. Everyone but you.” There are definitely days when I feel like that. […]

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Surviving Parents

No throwback today either. This article showed up in my email group, and I thought it would be good to share. If a mother can be only as happy as her unhappiest child, the unhappiest of mothers are those whose children have died- particularly when the death was intentional. For them, time seems doubly out […]

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One of my friends who was visiting recently has struggled with depression for a very long time. She was talking about her current experiences, and the things she’s doing actively to try to figure out how to best manage and control it. She told me about how she’s noticed that when she exercises, the next […]

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Turning a Corner

Yesterday, one of my (and Ian’s) good friends had brain surgery. I spent the day at the hospital with his wife, who apologized to me for not being around more since Ian’s death. In talking to her about it, (she was actually just fine, but I understand feeling like you haven’t done enough. I feel […]

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Goldilocks Friends

I was talking to a friend about things neither of us would ever say to anyone else. Things that would cause unwanted reactions in every other case. We decided that for that particular type of thing, we were the perfect distance from each other, both emotionally and physically. It made me coin the term Goldilocks […]

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Something came up after my last Sunday letter. The song I posted is about the death of a loved one. In it, one of the lyrics is “I wish I were dead.” That wish is something I’ve heard from many people over the years, some more seriously than others. Most people I’ve talked to about […]

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Fake Healing

There comes a point in time at which you should be improving. That point is largely dependent upon all the factors involved, which are many and varied, but eventually we all get there. If you stay in your dark place – not improving – longer than you ‘should’, people’s reactions to your pain change. It […]

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Another throw back Thursday post: It’s been a month. Another of the stages of grief hit home kind of hard today.  I don’t want this. How can I give it back? What can I do to make it not real? Answers: I can’t, and Nothing. It’s so hard to accept that. It shouldn’t be, but […]

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R.I.P. Robin Williams

Heartbreaking news came out yesterday that actor Robin Williams died by apparent suicide. He was 63. His family has requested privacy during this time, which I completely understand. They don’t need random people who didn’t know him asking them (whether in an accusatory manner or not) the questions they’re already asking themselves. Didn’t you see […]

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Good Night

Another throw-back Thursday post. I feel guilty having a good night. I know I shouldn’t, but I do.  It was good to have people at my house, doing things that have nothing to do with real life… Watching a show that takes me away. Talking to people who care and are understanding. I almost even […]

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