Ian, Today, I broke out your grill. It’s the first time I’ve actually grilled on my own. I was really hesitant to do it, because I thought it would be kind of a pain in the butt. But now, having done it, it’s almost easier than cooking normally. I have a feeling I’ll be doing […]
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Ian, I’m finally home after two weeks away. The first week, with your family was such a good support. I can’t begin to tell you how lucky you were to have them. How incredibly warm and accepting they are. How loving. All of those things mean that I’m lucky to have them now, too… Because […]
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This is another Throw Back Thursday post. It’s Monday morning, two weeks since the last time Ian woke up. Two weeks ago was his last day alive… and I’m still pushing through. Waking up this morning wasn’t as terrible as it has been. Sleep makes you forget. And forgetting is blissful. Until you wake up […]
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Written 6/18/2014 Yesterday was the 17th week since Ian’s death. Today is the four month anniversary. While some things have remained the same, much has changed since then. We have new employees at work. One of them is in his old office. Another is filling the spot he left vacant. The majority of the things […]
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Another Sunday letter: Ian, Today is Father’s Day. This holiday never had much to offer me, but I know you would have done something with your dad. I feel for him, though I haven’t talked to him much. I didn’t want to push myself into his life, because I may be an uncomfortable reminder or […]
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I’ve said this before, that a large part of who I was died with Ian. I’m still sorting out what that means and who the new me is. I’m not as fun. I’m quieter. I’m not as outgoing. He brought out the fun side of me, the side that was up for anything, that would […]
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I wrote this during the NCAA tournament. Watching the basketball game tonight, I thought back. Three years ago, I was amused by Ian’s fervor for the tournament. I have always hated basketball, but his enthusiasm was infectious. At that point, I was still not aware that I loved him. I knew I liked him a […]
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As I’ve mentioned before, I’m in an email group for friends and families of suicide. It’s been very helpful to be part of the group, as there are people in all stages of loss, and it’s good to see that we’ve all got similarities in what we’re experiencing, and it’s good to see how things […]
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Another installment of Sunday letters to Ian. Ian, It’s been over 100 days since you died. Right now, there’s a loud thunderstorm going on. It reminds me of the night you and I hung out on my driveway in the rain. You loved summer thunderstorms, and enjoyed them. Reminded me to take the time to […]
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I was pondering the things I learned from Ian. There are many. Most recently, I learned that everyone should have an “in case I get hit by a bus” file at home that contains all the pertinent passwords, phone unlock code, and account information, as well as a will… Even just a written note saying […]
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