I Can’t Hear You!

I may have hit the denial stage in earnest. Or bargaining? Maybe both? I’ve started dreaming of him. In the dreams, he and I are in normal situations, doing normal things. We are talking, or singing, or just hanging out. It’s fun and good, and I’m home again. And I wake up, and know he’s […]

346 total views, no views today

Even Keel

The days have become mostly standard. I seem to no longer be on tenterhooks all the time. There are certainly times when I’ll think of something, see something, hear something, and cry. And I’m still pretty far from doing well. But it feels mostly like I’m on an even keel. Except I feel like at […]

241 total views, no views today

Day One

On the day I found the body of my best friend, co-worker, the man I loved with my whole being, I wasn’t online much. Prior to the discovery, it was a fairly normal day. Then at lunch, I found him, and everything changed. After dealing with the police, medical examiner, a tow truck for my […]

385 total views, no views today


**This post has a few graphic details. Read with caution.** Finders. Those are the unfortunate people who find a dead body. I’ve only heard it in reference to suicide, but my guess is that it’s a pretty universally traumatic thing, regardless of by whose hand death occurred. As far as levels of trauma associated with […]

1,163 total views, no views today