Jealousy

My ex, whom I dated for nearly ten years, got married today. I am so happy for him and his wife. I was happy when they started dating, and happy that they seem to be so good for each other. I wasn’t able to be a witness for them because I wasn’t in town, which […]

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Hookah

This is another throwback Thursday post. I went to the Hookah tonight. First time I’ve been back since his death. Walking in hurt. I thought about all the times we’d driven there together… All the fun… I got inside the second door, and saw the place where on New Year’s Eve, when we were on […]

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Social Changes

This is a throw-back Thursday post. Six months ago, I wrote this: This is likely a post that isn’t going to be posted for a long time, if ever. I’m feeling very abandoned lately. Not only by Ian, but by almost everyone. See…. Aside from him, I had a couple single, childless friends. Together, he […]

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How to Help a Grieving Friend

This is an article I found, and it is SPOT ON. If you know someone who’s grieving, and aren’t sure you’re doing the right thing, read it. In fact? Read it anyway. Whether you know someone right now or not, chances are, you will in the future. Read it. Put the ideas in your tool […]

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New Year

It’s 2015. A new year. The crappy year that Ian died is gone. Good riddance. Except that now it’s a year he won’t ever see. And that sucks. Such a mixed bag of emotions. My New Year’s greeting for all my loved ones this year wasn’t “Happy New Year!” Because I didn’t feel particularly happy. […]

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Reconciliation

To reconcile is to make harmonious, to restore friendly relations, to make things match. It’s an interesting word with many applications. One that I like. I think reconciliation is a wonderful thing, one that should be a goal for everyone. Making true. Making everything coexist in peace. But, much as I like the idea, I […]

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Support

I was watching a tv show, and one of the characters who’d lost the man she’d loved was talking to another woman whose husband had died more recently. She said, “At first, everyone’s there. But after a while, people forget. Everyone moves on. Everyone but you.” There are definitely days when I feel like that. […]

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Vacation

Another Throw Back Thursday Post: Being on vacation, outside of my life has been good for me. I still miss Ian every day, but the constant reminders aren’t here. I’m seeing people he didn’t know very well if at all. I’m going places we never went, or really even talked about. I miss my home, […]

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December

It’s December. December has always been my favorite month, for many reasons. From 12/1 through 12/31, I was always happier in general. 12/1 was always a YAY day. Yesterday, when I realized it was 12/1, I looked for that yay feeling. I didn’t find it. That isn’t to say I’m as low as I have […]

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Sunday Letter #29

Ian, I don’t know if these letters necessarily help me, or anyone else. But for lack of a distinct impression either way, I’m going to continue them. This week was ok. I had a friend from college visit this weekend, which was really nice. I wish you could have been here to hang with us. […]

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