Busy

I actually forgot today was Tuesday for a bit. Things have been so busy for me at work and home that I’m really not having a lot of brooding time, which might be good. Maybe it’s because of that that for the most part, lately, I haven’t been terribly sad. I’ve been going. Concentrating on […]

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Sunday Letter #28

Ian, This week has been a rough one. I’m not sure why, but it’s been hard. I talked for a long time with a co-worker from out of town who also had her best friend die. It wasn’t suicide, and she got a chance to say goodbye. She got to hold his hand as he […]

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Time of Your Life

I’m not sure what causes them, but I still have days where I’m more sad than I have been lately. More nostalgic. More achey. A song came up on my playlist today that invariably makes me cry, so maybe that’s why. Every time I hear it, I can’t help but think that it’s what he […]

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Self-Evaluation

Another Throw Back Thursday post: It’s really hard to know what’s “healthy” when dealing with my own grief. I can’t tell if actions I take are holding me back from processing things or not. For example, yesterday, a group went to a Brewers (baseball) game. It was something we put together to honor his memory. […]

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Music

Another Throw Back Thursday Post: I started trying to listen to music more normally the other day. That turned out to be a bad idea. He and I shared SO MUCH music that listening to entire genres ended up making me terribly sad. Whether it was a significant song or not, just knowing how he […]

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Mindfulness

One of my friends who was visiting recently has struggled with depression for a very long time. She was talking about her current experiences, and the things she’s doing actively to try to figure out how to best manage and control it. She told me about how she’s noticed that when she exercises, the next […]

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Sad Day

Here’s another Throw Back Thursday post: The moods have moved from alternating every hour or two (or less) to being pretty much day long. Today was a sad day; a day where the hole in my heart was aching. I didn’t cry that much, a little here or there when it overtook me, but I […]

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Emotional Spoons

There is a really insightful way that I’ve heard my friends with chronic illnesses and/or disabilities describe what their limits feel like. The Spoon Theory is eloquent and wonderful. Luckily for me, I  don’t have physical illnesses, I don’t have a chronic condition that limits me physically. However, and this is not the same, but […]

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The Difficulty of Living

Another Throw Back Thursday post – Funny how this one still applies quite a bit. It’s interesting the things that grieving makes harder. You expect the big stuff, like concentrating at work, or being happy with friends, or doing taxes to be difficult. What I have been surprised by have been the small things. The […]

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Sunday Letter #23

Ian, It’s been a really roller coaster week. But I guess a far more mild roller coaster than it has been. You’re still gone, and that sucks. But it’s fall, Halloween is coming, and the days are getting shorter. This is the time of year my mood generally starts naturally improving, so it makes sense […]

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