Sunday Letter #15

Ian,

This weekend, I’ve been down with a migraine. Had to cancel on several things I’d been looking forward to. In a weird way, it was kind of a relief. Maybe my body knew I needed some down time, though it could have chosen a better way to make me take it.

Since you’re gone, I’ve been finding myself needing more down time than I ever have before. There are many reasons for that, I assume. A big one has to be that I don’t feel the same camaraderie with anyone else that I did with you. You were someone I fit with. No matter where. For someone who’s never really quite fit in anywhere, that was a big deal.

You were special. I wish you’d known how special. Or believed that I, at the very least, could see it.

I know I wasn’t the only one.

I had a dream about you earlier this week. I don’t remember much about it. Just that you were there, and how at ease I felt with you. If you are still out there somewhere, and have some way of contacting me, my guess would be that that was you doing so. So if that’s true, thank you. It hurts, but it was good. And if you’re not out there, or can’t contact me, well… it was still nice.

I miss you, my friend.

-Iris

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