Ian, I’m lying awake, late Saturday night/early Sunday morning, when we would almost certainly be together. I just realized the date, and it was 8 months and a day ago RIGHT NOW that you were finishing things up. You were preparing. You were getting yourself ready to die. Man, do I wish I knew what […]
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Ian, It’s been a really roller coaster week. But I guess a far more mild roller coaster than it has been. You’re still gone, and that sucks. But it’s fall, Halloween is coming, and the days are getting shorter. This is the time of year my mood generally starts naturally improving, so it makes sense […]
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Ian, This weekend was another wedding that you would have been invited to if you’d been alive. There are so many things you’re missing. I wish you were here to experience them. I had a Caucasian for the first time since you died. I liked them before, but you made them fun…. You made me […]
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Ian, I have managed to do housework this weekend. Something in my house still stinks, but I don’t know what it is or where it is. For all I know, it may well be all in my head. My vacuum started making a concerning clunking sound, so I didn’t finish the entirety of my bedroom. […]
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Ian, Today, I’m grilling on your grill. Listened to the Brewers lose first. It feels like in a weird way, I’m trying to continue living the life you should be living. I can’t tell if that’s my motivation, or I really want to do these things for myself. Who knows? I’ll figure it out eventually. […]
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Ian, I missed posting yesterday. I wrote something, but never got around to doing so. I feel a little bad about that. I think it’s the first post I’ve missed. I could blame it on being sick all week, which I was. That did likely lead to the lethargy that made me turning on this […]
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Ian, Yesterday was another wedding. We’re getting out of the weddings to which you were actually invited, and into the ones to which you would have been invited if you’d been alive. You would have been invited to this one, and you would certainly have gone, since you really liked the bride & groom when […]
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Ian, A little over a week ago, we passed the six month marker. It wasn’t as momentous in my mind as I thought it would be. I guess at this point, time is time and you’re still gone, so who cares how long it’s been? But I still count. On a long drive yesterday, I […]
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Ian, Six months ago to the minute, as I start writing this email, I texted you, “Feel better soon. We miss you!” It was the last thing you saw from me. I still miss you. I know that if you’d had any idea what your absence would do to the people you loved, you would […]
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Ian, This weekend, I’ve been down with a migraine. Had to cancel on several things I’d been looking forward to. In a weird way, it was kind of a relief. Maybe my body knew I needed some down time, though it could have chosen a better way to make me take it. Since you’re gone, […]
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