Tension

This last week was a weird one. I got a little cold, but then for a couple days I just wasn’t able to sleep. Seriously, maybe an hour or two each night. In the third night, I started getting really frustrated, then I started wondering why. And as I was lying there, I realized that […]

1,355 total views, no views today

The Benefits of Friends

I was talking to a friend of mine about how confused I am over my emotional state, relationships, what I want, what I’m ready for, what I DON’T want. She asked me if I’d talked to my therapist about that at all. Cue the forehead smack. Because, no. I haven’t talked to my therapist for […]

1,077 total views, no views today

Opening Day

Monday, April 6th was Opening Day for the Brewers this year. I went to bed Sunday afternoon, trying to sleep off a cold that had started to take hold. I woke on Monday still feeling it, and stayed home. I remembered when I woke up at 12:45 again that it was opening day, and I […]

599 total views, no views today

Change

This is my 200th post. I feel like that needs some sort of notation, so there it is. This week, I changed the pictures on my Facebook. The profile picture was of my memorial tattoo for Ian. The header picture was of him bowling. That one was a really good picture of him. I feel […]

1,137 total views, no views today

Relationships

I’ve had various people ask me whether I was ‘in the market’ in the past little while. Some knew about Ian and were wondering if I was progressing to a point where I could look for a new relationship, and others didn’t know about Ian, and were just curious. The answer I give is a […]

626 total views, no views today

When to Say What

That title sounds like a knockoff of Who’s on First? It’s a question I’ve been kind of running into lately, though. As I meet new people, it’s always a little difficult to figure out how much to tell about things, and how soon. The new friend at the bar who’s commenting on my memorial tattoo, […]

673 total views, no views today

No News?

They say no news is good news, and in most cases, I agree. In the context of this blog, however, I’m not liking that there’s no new revelations lately. I am sick of being a broken record. Yes, everyone knows I miss Ian… That’s uninteresting at this point. With the events of last weekend, and […]

891 total views, no views today

Wavering

Last night, on my way to karaoke, I drove the way I tend to drive to work; the way that takes me past the turnoff to Ian’s house. The way I would have driven were I going to pick him up to take him to karaoke (minus actually turning off and going to his house, […]

716 total views, no views today

Speak

One of the things that makes me luckier than many, if not most people who have loved ones who die (by suicide, or other means) is that when Ian died, I didn’t have anything that I hadn’t told him. I don’t have anything left unsaid. He new everything that I wanted him to know. Whether […]

646 total views, no views today

Glasses

This morning, I went shopping for glasses. For the first time in at least 15 years, I am going to have some glasses for work. As I was thinking about this last night, I was pondering how someone’s glasses seem to hold a lot of their essence. I’m not sure why, but I feel that […]

760 total views, no views today