At some point, you come unstuck. That’s the phrase that keeps running through my head. I was (understandably) stuck… I miss Ian. I wasn’t able to look at or see anything beyond that. I don’t think the length of time I was stuck is too long. I wonder if it was too short. And, maybe […]

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This is probably going to be the last Throwback Thursday post, since it’s the last one I have sitting around. One week before Ian died, I wrote about depression. The night he died, I dreamt and then posted about how I wanted to live my golden years I just looked back and realized the timing […]

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The question today from the support group I’m in is about whether the members have noticed that other people are avoiding them since the suicideĀ of their loved one. They ask if the members think that’s because of the suicide, and how it makes them feel. Personally, a number of my relationships with people have changed […]

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Moral Ambiguity

*Disclaimer – This is a long, rambling post. It does come to a point, eventually though. Once I was playing a game with friends. The game was called “Scruples” – the way it works is each person is read a scenario that crosses some moral boundaries or not, and the person then chooses their answer. […]

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Movie Memories

On Monday, the support group I’m part of had a question about memories of movies. They asked: “What were some of the favorite movies and television shows of the person you remember in FFOS? Do you have any memories of them watching them?” That question brought back so many memories for me that I decided […]

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Physical Changes

I’ve mentioned before that I have lost a lot of weight since Ian’s death. That loss had been noticeable before, but after I got back from my trip to California, I decided it was time for me to put some effort into getting a little more physically fit. I joined Daily Burn, which is far […]

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I wasn’t able to write yesterday for a couple different reasons. An acquaintance of mine was raped on Friday night, and I was spending some time with her, as well as processing some stuff. I’ve been fighting with myself about writing this post, because I feel like I’m taking this terrible experience she had, and […]

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Adding More Voices

I watch the show Supernatural, and have loved it in all its campy cheesiness since it started. I tried to get Ian to watch it, because I figured he’d relate to one of the characters (who likes older music and hates new technology). He watched it once, and said it was ok, which, coming from […]

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Faces of Suicide V.2

I couldn’t think of much to say today, so it’s fortuitous that the new volume of Faces of Suicide came out. I wrote a piece for this volume. I miss him today, and have been having a hard time holding myself together entirely. But life goes. And it seems I go with it. 216 total views, […]

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Intense Week

This week has been pretty intense emotionally for me. With the anniversary of Ian’s suicide yesterday, me having been away from home for a while, me taking active steps toward pursuing a dream, and also the amazing opportunity I had to record an episode of a podcast that will come out later today about the […]

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