Another throw-back Thursday post.
Ok, so there’s this thing happening that I’ve noticed today. It’s weird for me, so I figure it must be something to do with what’s going on.
Due to a counseling session yesterday, followed by a very good conversation with his sister, and a realization later in the night, I am far more… calm? Not nearly at peace, but closer than I have been yet, with the situation.
But today, there have been a couple times that amid that calm, I will suddenly have the ridiculous urge to just get up and DO SOMETHING. Like my whole body is full of electricity and energy and I need to GET IT OUT. Difficult, as I’m at work and my work entails a lot of computer work. But I get up and walk, or go get a drink of water, or something… And then it fades.
I’m nowhere near normal still, and I still get teary very easily (as a couple of my co-workers will attest they noticed at lunch today), but today is definitely different than it has been yet.
During one of those bouts of DO SOMETHING, I finally wrote out the details of the day it happened. As much as I could remember. I will continue to add to it as I think of things, and edit as my head clears. But it feels good to have it somewhere where I won’t forget anything. Maybe some day I’ll want to, but for now, I don’t want to forget anything at all.
Written 3/5/2014
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